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Nobody Expects The Orkney Haar

Surely my eyes have blown a fuse. The world is blank – not a hole (because holes are *in* something) but a total absence, a blackness filled with light.

Vertigo sweeps over me. And…that strange muddled sense of depth, like when you’re drifting off to sleep in a darkened room and suddenly you can’t tell if the ceiling is a million miles away or pressed against your face.

Fevered Mutterings Image - Haar, between Mainland Orkney and Westray - Mike Sowden

If I look down, the illusion is broken by the ship’s side-wake, curling outwards like scraped butter, but if I tilt my gaze so everything disappears from my peripheral vision, I’m floating once more. The view is a featureless aether lit by a coin of light wan enough to stare at. I drift, spiritually untethered, a sense of peace filling my entire….

…!!!!

Dear god.

Obviously. Obviously they would have…sounded the...fog-horn. Because we’re…in fog.

But…couldn’t they WARN us first?

Fevered Mutterings Image - Haar lifting, between Mainland Orkney and Westray - Mike Sowden

Suddenly the horizon is back, in the time it takes you to read this sentence.

Behind us, the ship’s wake appears and lengthens. Are we picking up speed? No – it’s the fog we’re emerging from, revealing the mark of our passage like a meteorological magic trick.

Fevered Mutterings Image - Wake of ship emerging from haar - Mike Sowden

Here in Orkney, a sea-fog or haar can descend at any time. In this case it’s in the middle of a sunny July day (2009).

This confuses me. Fog needs the kind of cool, damp air you’d find in Winter? But then I remembered the haar I met in August 2006 when I slept rough on the Orkney Mainland. Why fog in summer? The answer is wind, or rather a lack of it – during the Winter months, the incessant wind picks up enough to blow the fog away. It’s always around, developing wherever there’s a pronounced temperature difference between sea and sky …but Winter is more adept at moving it along, presumably to make room for some real weather.

Fevered Mutterings Image - Fog on Westray - Mike Sowden

A few days later, I emerge from my tent at Chalmersquoy on Westray after an afternoon nap to find everything smudged with haar. I watch (cursing at my camera’s inability to do it justice) as it rolls down from the hills and blankets the middle of Pierowall bay, a strip of cloud as discrete as a contrail – and as it dissipates, the buildings at the opposite side of the bay emerge, rising like the Golden Gate

Fevered Mutterings Image - Fog over Pierowall Bay, Westray - Mike Sowden

Images: Mike Sowden, 2009.

Megabus: No-Budget UK Travel (If You’re Tough Enough)

Megabustop, by Daquella manera - Flickr

I’m hollow-eyed and bleary today, and I haven’t had enough coffee. A little later I’ll be pootling round York, picking up travel essentials and converting my Brit money into Euros before jetting off to Austria tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow will be my second visit to London in 3 days, and yet again I’m using the train.

If you know what rail prices in this country are like, you might now be wincing. Yes, there are smart, effective ways to whittle your train fares down to something vaguely affordable, but even with forethought, research and expert haggling over the phone, there’s only so much you can do. And frankly, the amount you have to plan ahead is…irksome. I’ve taken the train from York to London, almost always exactly the same service, for prices ranging from £12 to £88, one-way (with returns anything from £28 to £infinity).

It’s a fickle, wearisome mess.

Yesterday, partly by bus and partly by train, I got to London and back for £10. (more…)

Balderdash! – Busting 5 Myths About England

Tre simboli di una Nazione, by painted23 - Flickr

Ah, England! The mist-shrouded Arthurian ruins, the rolling green hills dotted with sleepy hamlets, nuns on bikes free-wheeling over cattle grids, tankards of warm beer, castles and orchards, jodhpurs and shooting-sticks, where monocles legally replace spectacles and more than two people will automatically form a queue, where everything is quaint and quintessential and steeped and…

On and on.

Planning a first-time trip to England soon? It’s possibly you’ve been told things about the place. Silly things. Things that will mislead and ultimately disillusion you. And that’s no fun at all. So in the interests of having an exciting and fascinating holiday in a truly exciting and fascinating country, let’s burst a few bubbles here. (more…)

York (1): Those Revolting Northerners

Roman Tortoise, by ~Duncan~ (Flickr)

It’s AD 70, and the North is in revolt. (more…)

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