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Commercial Travel Needs Attention-Seeking Idiots

If you’ve recently flown on a certain Cebu Pacific service, you’ll remember the air safety demonstration.

And how many flights can you say that about?

What first struck me about this was how hot the stewardess nearest the camera is how much fun the cabin crew are obviously having. And you can’t see the passengers’ faces, but presumably they’re enjoying a mixture of admiration and mortified bemusement. (British passengers, mainly the latter- we’re like that).

There’s nobody there who is unaware that a safety demonstration is going on.

Clever, that.

Why should the routines of commercial travel be dull? Why should opportunities be missed for grabbing attention, for getting people interested?

Here’s a silly yet maybe-not-quite-so example I’ve come up with myself. You’re on the Eurostar, and you cross the French border: 30 seconds of accordion music later, everyone is being handed a croissant. Or let’s say you’re coming back, and it’s Land Of Hope And Glory and an Eccles cake.

Daft? Yes, of course. Pointless? You’re now The Eurostar Service With the Croissants / Eccles Cakes. You’ve got the attention of your passengers. You could do something with that. Couldn’t you?

There’s another opportunity here. As a commercial travel operator, you tailor your daftness to your own culture. Play up to your national stereotypes a bit, gently poke a little fun at your own country – and make people aware that yes, they are entering a different culture. Make them glad they’re here before they’ve even arrived. Tickle them, and in doing so, pique their interest. We’re talking about first impressions here, and they will have commercial repercussions – grumpy, travel-dulled passengers aren’t going to linger on their way to their hotel or their onward connection. Make them feel welcome, and they’ll pay more attention to what you have to offer. Surely?

When you’re travelling, have you ever felt won over by the littlest, daftest thing?

Image: Koluso

A Scilly Swim (But Not Yet)

Tresco by Tom Corser

The approaching shoreline is an arresting one. A few yards up the cream-coloured beach it’s England – well-kept hedgerows, chalk-dust paths, everything with that tamed look so welcoming to Anglophiles. Except this is the Atlantic. All around, the UK continental shelf is having one last fling with the open air – a scatter of low granite islands, nibbled inwards with half-circles of white beach as if the place was drafted with a pair of compasses. There’s so much sky it gives me a kind of reverse vertigo…

But I’m not looking upwards. I’m looking down.

When can we go swimming, Dad? (more…)

You Can’t Live On Rockall (But Still We Keep Trying)

Choppy Seas - Orkney: Mike Sowden / Mikeachim, 2009

Let’s take an imaginary journey to the British Empire’s last territorial acquisition.

Hang onto your hat: it could get rough. (more…)

Thanks for Failing, Doctor Beeching

HDR

The bend widens out, and before me lies a toy train platform, built lifesized.

I crunch up, moving from a path of gravel ballast onto sloping wooden planking. Before and behind me, the rails curve lazily away through the narrow valley, high escarpments on either side pressing inwards and making a sweaty day even closer. Barring the steel lines set ablaze by the sunshine it’s a natural-looking landscape – into which Newton Dale Halt has been dropped like a shoddy special effect.

On either end of the wooden stop there are inward-facing signs, both unreadable as I approached along the trackside path. Upon making the top of the platform, I discover they say “Danger: Do Not Walk Along The Trackside Path”. Great. Cursing my knack for finding turnings where none exist, I unshoulder my rucksack and sit down on the moss-greased planking.

Silence falls, roaring in my ears as I strain to hear the approach of a train returned from the dead.

(more…)

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