“Oh, we can’t guarantee when he’ll be delivering the new dishwasher”, they told my Mum. “Sometime on Thursday, definitely. But the drivers make up their own schedules to inflict maximum inconvenience on their customers. We can hear them giggling over the radio as they work them out. It’s an ugly sound, yet strangely compelling, like the sound of sweet young dreams being crushed under the jackboots of experience. You can pay an extra £25 and that will guarantee that he will turn up at a specific, 100% guaranteed time, give or take 12 hours either side for unforseen circumstances. Or can I interest you in collecting it yourself from our depot in St. Kilda?”
